I has a Bleeding.

I had a blood test today.  The blood hasn’t been tested yet but they have it… a lot of it. 

I hate needles to a horrible extent, but if you don’t watch them stick the syringe into your arm it doesn’t hurt very much.  My arm still feels as though it’s half dead for some reason, not too sure why.  The needle was in my right arm so that Ican still write with my left.  I need to make sure I mention to them that I’m left-handed every time I get a needle, or they use my left arm by default.

I was given a small spongy ball and told to squeeze it a few times.  The point of the exercise was obviously to strain the arm and make the veins expand so that the whole process would be a lot easier.  I didn’t realise this at the time and squished the ball half-heartedly a couple of times – the desired effect was not obtained.  The lady who was in charge of taking my blood put a strap around my arm and took out a creepy looking needle and put it near my arm and said in a kindly warning voice, “needle sting~”. 

I immediately averted my eyes to something that looked like a microwave but could have been an oven.  Either way the needle still hurt.  I wasn’t looking but I could definitely tell what was going on.  The vein, having not been big enough had shifted away from the intruding needle.  The lady, now moving the needle around inside of my arm trying to get to the vein, was saying gently, “Come on, little vein.. come one, little vein..”. 

After explaining to me why the first attempt had been a failure, I readied myself for another needle in a different vein.  Squeezing the ball a second time caused the hole already in my arm to start bleeding; as I had decided I wouldn’t be wanting any more than two holes in my arm made today and put in more effort.  This time with slightly less difficulty, the nurse managed to steal a small amount of blood required and I was allowed to leave.

It’s the second time for this to happen to me after a needle but as I was going to the car I noticed my ability to hear properly was dropping.  By the time I got to the car my hearing was almost completely gone and the outer ring of my sight was going black and I couldn’t only see through a small circle directly in front of me.  This time I knew what to do.  I flicked the back rest of my chair back so I could lie down and propped my feet up in the dashboard.  Meanwhile, my dad sitting in the driver-seat beside me was like, “…what are you doing?”  It only took around a minute for a full recovery.  Then I spent the next 3 hours feeling like throwing up for some reason.

The first time this happened, I had just gotten a needle of gadisil (or something..) and my father was talking to the doctor.  I was sitting there, slowly losing both hearing and vision but had no idea what was going on.  It wasn’t until my dad got up to leave and my vision hand gone completely black I decided to mention it to the doctor.  That time I was lying down for a good five minutes before I started recovering.  The doctor came back with a jellybaby candy for me, and since then when I go to get needles he jokes and asks if I need another jellybaby. hehe.

I’ve always hated needles but I never used to have any bad kind of reactions to them.  Like.. say, almost fainting.. or nausea.  Maybe somethings wrong with me.  Well the results of the blood test will tell me if there is.

Summer Can Only Get Colder

Life is busy.  I am busy.  Rather, I am very busy.

Also, I am back.  My last promise to myself to blog once a week resulted in no posts until now I’m sure.  I always have a good feeling about these things, but I have a good feeling that I’ll be keeping a close eye on my blog from now on.

Whenever I even think about everything I need to get done, it makes me tired.  By the end of the year I will be diagnosed with: “over-exhaustion due to thinking about working”.  Speaking of which, I will have to find myself a job.  Soon.  This is probably my last holiday for another year; although I can’t really consider it much of one.  Maybe next year’s Winter break might make a nice holiday.  I should do something for a change.. but then again, I’m not one who likes changes.

I’m not looking forward to going back to uni at all.  I’m dreading the thought of another team project.  The first team project? Lets not talk about that shall we? I don’t like speaking abusively, maybe later.  My courses for next semester don’t look all too happy either.  I plan to study ahead properly so I don’t get caught badly in exams. 

I was working pretty hard this semester… all semester.  By the time the exams came around I had exhausted my studying capacity – a lot which went towards wasted effort on team project – and I couldn’t get a decent amount of study done for any of my subjects.  I’m glad I put in extra effort during the semester because I’m sure I did terrible in all of my exams.  Not to mention the total failure my final product for team project was.

Nothing else important happened during the semester.  Else, I would have recalled it and written it here.  My year has been even more anti-social than any other year of my life I’ve lived.  Reason being that I gave up games.. and anime.. and drawing.. and blogging…  As soon as the Winter break hit, I was back to playing games and drawing and reading manga.  I’ve dropped anime though.  Playtime didn’t last too long, I’m all busy again.

Each year I look a little more forward towards my graduation.  I’ve long wanted to break free of the cycle of my life of study.  There is an extremely high chance though, that I will dive right into the cycle of a crappy career.  Cheers.

There was something more specific I want to write about, only I don’t remember what that is anymore.  Rather than my usual writers block, it’s more like I have memory loss.  That doesn’t matter.  It wasn’t an important topic.  Just something that grabbed my interest that I wanted to  write about.  If I don’t know what it is, then no harm done.  There is always later.

The weather is currently in the most coldest time possible.  Mid Winter gives me the chills.  Then, as it nears its end.. the weather becomes unbearably hot.  The difference is too much.  Whoever generated this system should have thought more about the discomfort such dramatic changes in temperature would cause for people.  Of course one can argue that our Autumn and Spring are supposed to soften that change over, but as things are as they are now, I say Autumn gets far too cold and Spring is far far too hot.

Spring.. My most hated of all seasons.  Its not as hot as Summer, but the sudden change in temperature is enough to make me… rant..  The point I am trying to make is that it is too cold. It is cold, and I am unhappy.  I haven’t been in the greatest health either lately.  The weather only makes me feel worse and I don’t need to catch a cold or flu right this moment.  Due to my crappy immune system, – or something of the like, I’m not too knowledgeable in the medical field, but ask me an electrical question, shoot me.  Chances are I wont know an answer anyways – colds which will last anyone I know a week;  will last me a good month and a bit.  But I’m sure I’ve mentioned this somewhere before already.  I’m just ranting now.

That about sums up what I missed blogging this past semester.  As can be seen, nothing I did was really that important.  Finally, how does anything I’ve written in this blog make sense or even relate to everything else written?  It doesn’t.

Epic Conclusion. Smilie-face Emoticon.

There Comes a Time…

<3

There comes a time in life, a certain point that will crush you beyond your imagination.  Not just once; you will be crushed multiple times through certain periods in your lifetime. 

I like to call these times, “The Times of Major Assessment.”

There’s so much assessment due in during these next two weeks alone.

You know, usually a lecturer will know when your exam are, and cancel your assessment that happens to be settling around any nearby date.  For some reason or another, not just did they leave all the assessment.. It looks like theres even more than usual.  I have WAY TOO MANY assignments/submissions.  Stupid lecturers.  I cannot possibly hate every single one of my lecturers anymore than I do right now.  Seriously.  It’s ridiculous.

One of my lecturers is a real jerk.  Hes a tubby man, wears glasses and has short sand-ish brown hair.  He always, always, wears long pants and a shirt.  His shirt is always white.  His voice is nasal, high and kind of flat…

I didn’t see it until I was talking to a couple of my friends.  They had taken the very same course that I was taking this year -last year.  They had the same retard of a lecturer.  The also called him, “Peter Griffin”.

It was hilarious.  The resemblance couldn’t have been any better.  Even the voice was the same.  I was shocked that I didn’t see this earlier for myself.  I laughed so hard, everyone else must have not found it funny anymore.  But it was still the funniest thing I had heard in weeks.  After that, I laughed at it with my friends for a bit; the topic dropped, and I forgot almost completely about it. 

Myself and a couple of my friends were walking from one of my lectures to another class one day.  The class I was heading towards was the tutorial class for the same subject as the lecture I was just leaving.  Along the way, one of my friends tried tripping me over.  Then he said loudly, “I hate <insert course name here> so much!”

I agreed aloud, as did the third person with us.  Then I said in a voice that couldn’t be louder: “I hate Peter Griffin!“.  Yeah, we all had a laugh… Kept walking along to class… Walked up the stairs…

The stairs are those ones that take two sets to get to the top.  That is, half way up, you reach a platform where you have to make a ‘u-turn’ and then continue up the second half of the stairs.

So we all walked up the stairs, happily in a line while putting verbal crap all over the poor little course.  All of the sudden, my friend went to grab my arm for some reason. 

“HAH!” I thought to myself “Trying to trip me over again, are you?? How sly!“

I avoided the assult by dodging to the side; skipping quickly around my other friend to protect myself from any further attacks.  That happened as we started ascending the stairs.  We all stepped onto the midway platform at once.  I was in the middle most side of the steps, so my path was shorter than everyone elses as I went for the second incline of the steps.  I was that much faster, that I had made my complete U-turn and could see not just my friends, but anyone who had been walking behind us.

Peter Griffin was behind us.

Any normal person would have figured out what I had been implying when I said “Peter Griffin”.  Not just that but there was the additional insult of being called “Peter Griffin”.  I’d never needed the CTRL+Z function more in my life.

Before I could make direct eye-to-eye contact with “Peter Griffin”, I bolted.  Well, not so much of bolted, but to be considered as walking it would be (10x)very fast.  I made my half-run to the lecture theatre ahead of everyone else, including “Peter Griffin”.

When i was finally seated I complained to my friend about the lecture being behind us the entire way.  He had heard me call him “Peter Griffin”.  I was sure to be his sole target of hate.  I was whispering to my friend, all the while, so only a person within a half-meter radius of myself would hear.

The guy behind me happend to be in that very half-meter radius.  A little after it had been mentioned by myself, I heard him lean over and whisper to his buddy beside him, “Hey, don’t you think he looks like Peter Griffin.  I just realised, he looks like Peter Griffin.”

Yes.  Yes person behind me.  You have only “just” realised.  Just realised, right after you you heard my ranting.  Thats right.  How clever of you.  How clever you are to have just realised that all by yourself.  You are all so very clever, aren’t you now?

Who is clever? You! You of course! You are the clever one!

Here! Let me clap for you and praise you, while patting you on the back.  Are you happy???  It must be great, y o u  r e t a r d.

Now, I have to spend the rest of the semester, and possibly even next semester, trying to NOT let “Peter Griffin” find out my name.  This is to  make sure he doesn’t purposely fail me.

“What?” you say, “Purposely fail you? That is unjust!” 

Yes.  It is unjust.  It is also likely to happen should he find out my name.  I will consider wearing glasses, leaving my hair untied and changing my name to Juan.  This way, according to the majority of anime and manga, there is not living person on earth that would be able to recognise me.  Thats right! even though my face is EXACTLY the same as before, I have a completely different look now.  I’m a genius!

But life doesn’t work like that and I’m pretty sure I would look no different.  Seems like I will have to rely on the good old ‘cover-your-face-with-your-hand-when-you-see-him” trick.

Anyways, it turns out that my friend -the one who had tried to grab my arm near the stairs and I had misinterpreted the action as an attempt to seriously injure me- had been trying to warn me earlier that he was behind us.  He had seen the guy, and then warned my other friend, before in turn, trying to warn me.  I had misunderstood, and instead, run away from the person who was supposed to stop me from embarrassing myself further. 

It happens to the best of us.  Sometimes we WILL, insult a persod; and sometimes that person will be behind us.  At those times, we have no choice but to deal with the embarassment that comes with it.

I have alot more to complain about.  I’m sure Life is having a great time screwing with me.  I’m sure of it.  It’s finding all the right moments to get its revenge on me for always ranting so badly about it.  I’ll have it apologise to me some day.  Not just a simple apology.  I’ll have to get on the floor and beg for forgiveness.

Hah!  That day is drawing closer.. I can feel it.

 </3

Guilt Pangs. Life and it’s Woes.

I messed up recently. 

 For one of my group projects, I needed another member.  Myself and my friend went to the lab session and greeted one of the students.  We asked if he took the same class as us and if he had a group yet. After getting the confirmation that “yes” he did and also “no” he didnt; he agreed to join our group.

The following day I collected his student number and signature onto the form required for group selection  proposals – I was to meet my friend in the group to get his details the next day.  He had work until a little after midday.  Everything which was going so seemingly smooth – went steeply downhill from there.

 That morning, I got to uni and found I had forgotten the form.   Submission was at 5pm sharp.  The travel time to go home and come back would be 4 hours alone (a one way trip home is two hours.. you do the maths to find the trip back).  I still had classes for the day which I could not afford to skip.

Immediately I phoned both of my partners.  There was no connection through to either.  I tried many times to call the new group member, as I knew I was going to meet up with my friend later that day anyways.  Despite this I could not contact him. 

 I resorted to forging in his signature; only to realise I didn’t remember his student number… The most vital of all details.  I messaged him  a couple times.  First to tell him the problem.  Second to tell him my solution.

I recieved a call from my friend after he found my miss-calls.  I enlighted him with my terrible problem and I was to communicate via internet after that.  The internet wasn’t working for some reason.  It was passed midday and still no response from the new member.  I waited anxiously.

I had to be home earlier that day.  If I did not form a group before I had to go, I would simply be grouped with strangers.  I’m not usually good with strangers, so I tried calling a few times more; without results.

Just as I was about to lose hope and give up, I ran into another friend of mine, who happend to be taking the same class, as well as one of his group members.  They were looking for a member to replace one of their own who had dropped the course.  I was looking for a group.  We parted ways without exchanging words…  Joking.

After hearing my dillema they offered to kindly take me in.  I was happy but my friend from my original group, now had no group.  He would simply fall into the random selection pool.  I felt bad.  It turns out that the two I had just run into, knew another pair who were also looking for another member… What luck.

My friend now had a group.  I had a group.  My original third member – not only did he not have a group anymore now - but he was completely oblivious to the fact.  I had yet again another reason to feel bad.

 Within my new group, the third member who I did not know previously was deciding between the group he was already in, or going with the two others who were looking for another.  If that were to be the case my friend would simply become the third person in my group. 

After a long hard time thinking, he decided to stay in my group.  The submissions were made.   The fact that I felt incredibly guilty did not change.

I spent the rest of the day like normal.  Apart from the fact that every now and then I would get this horrible feeling in my chest and feel terrible.  The weight of the guilt was harassing me to no end.  I was still to recieve response from the now isolated member of my old group.

From the fact that I never recieved a response for over three days, I took it that he was mad.  He left his classes earlier than me and my other friend who was originally with him, without saying a word.  I was sure he was mad. 

But there was still that uncertainty that he did not recieve my calls or my messages.  That made things all the more awkward.  I managed to avoid eye contact with him after the first day I realised he was mad.  I later found my friend was doing so also.

It all cleared itself up today.  The guy who had previously decided to join my group decided he wanted to change his mind.  My friend joined my group (I do feel a little bad for my friend who took me in, as he lost both of his original members and wasn’t yet aquainted with my other friend; who just joined.) and I was now grouped with two of my own friends.

Later today I recieved an email from my dear old group member saying he saw the final group selection notice.  From that he had “noticed” that all three of us had been split up.  He also said that he though it was a “mistake by the system”.  I realised then that he didn’t know.

 Hurriedly, I told my friend.  I wrote up an apologetic letter explaining what had happened and what I had attempted, trying to counter the problem, and how I had tried to contact him by mobile but failed to connect.

I awaited the expected flame-filled response, brimming with rejection, anger and hurt.  It never came. 

What I did recieve though, was a short, to-the-point response, informing me that; “Crap..” and that his mobile had been battery dead for a few days now, as well as, “Oh well.”

I was worrying over nothing.  I also had my friend worrying over nothing also.

The horrible hundred of kilos of guilt, crumbled off of me and onto the floor.

I felt a little better after that.

I think tomorrow, I will smile at him and apologise.

Strange Sounds.

It should have been very obvious to me from the beginning.  You would think I would have noticed something much earlier, but I just didn’t.

It was a high pitched ringing, like that of the ringing in your ear produced when something hits you on the side of your head – except a little more discrete.  With my computer humming softly in the background (the fan is pretty strong) it was hard to isolate the single noise as its own.

It wasn’t until one day, my little sister was reading manga at my computer (because God knows she won’t use her own for manga) when she turned to me -who was studying quietly on my bed-  and asked, “Do you hear any buzzing?”

My first thought was that there was a mosquito or a fly had gotten into my room and had flown past her.  But upon suggestion, she claimed it was a sound nothing like an insect could make.  It was higher and made an ‘iiirrrrmmmmmmmmmmm~~~’ noise; as she had so kindly demonstrated for me.  I listened for it but heard nothing and we passed it off, simply as ‘her ear ringing’.

Later however, I found myself sitting, studying at my computer, only to find that there was a slightly irritating ringing noise.  As I leaned down to listen if it was my computer tower (sitting underneath the desk), I noticed a sudden increase in the ringing, followed by a dramatic decrease. 

“How perculiar.” I thought to myself.  After a swift repeat, I discovered the source.  My tablet was producing a small whining noise, which was very unpleasant for my ear to listen to directly held beside the tablet pad.  At first I was alarmed; something could have been broken.  There was a blackout yesterday, and since that, the internet at my place has been out and so has the printer… isn’t doing as its title claims (despite everything having a surge protector at my place).

Worried my tablet might have suffered some damage I tested it out.  Working perfect.  Nothing seemed broken.  But if so, what was that incessant whining?  It didn’t long for me to realise that it probably made that noise because it was.. ELECTRONIC… 

Yes, due to the outer look and coating, (even with the grey-silver metalic colour), I had simply added one and one to solve that a plastic exterior, meant that the whole damn thing was made of plastic.  Which makes no sense, seeing as the tablet itself, was a tablet.

The sound was pretty annoying, and was probably the explanation to my headache, so I reached around under the desk, around the back of my computer tower, grabbed for the usb connection of the tablet and unplugged myself from the network.  Dammit..  No problem, it’s not like I even had internet access at the time anyways.  Fumbling around some more, I managed to reconnect the network and unplug the tablet. 

Immediately it felt like a a horribly whiny, high-pitched, burden had been lifted from my shoulders.

So my worries were gone for the most part, right up until I asked myself.. Did it always make that noise?… Was it SUPPOSED to be making that noise? How come neither I, nor my sister, noticed it until today?

Is a tablet going to be okay if you have it plugged in 24/7 and use your computer on a daily basis for at least 10 hours (probably less than ten nowadsays, because i finish late at uni) a day usually ?  I mean it’s going to be working its little butt of this entire time without a word of complaint (more like some horrible dying whining).

I read up (out of simple curiousity) on the wacom tablet about the battery-less pen, and how it worked with its even-mightier-than-the-pen-which-was-mightier-than-the-sword might.  It turns out that the little tablet board is the one doing all the work, all the time.  Something about its always sending signals to detect the pen and its location with respect to the little square (yeah, I know, I don’t usually pay too much attention to what I’m reading).

So I was wondering if its okay to leave running all the time like that.  I don’t usually use it all the while my computer is on, but say I will use it really quickly a couple times each session I’m on my computer, say all up I’m scribbling for about ten minutes all up within the ten hours I’m possibly on the computer, but pretty often. 

It would be a pretty bad hassle to connect and disconnect the tablet everytime I used it unless I used the front ports.  Seeing as theres only two there, and that usually they are both taken I probaby wont do that.  I could get one of those USB multi port connectors (or hubs whatever they are called) but that would simply be a waste seeing as I have 3 completely unused USB ports at the back of the computer box.

Ah~ what a dillema I have.

With all the luck

With all the luck in the world, perhaps it is possible, after all, to find a four-leaved clover.   No… Let me correct myself.  Not ‘perhaps’, but ‘for sure’.  You don’t require a world’s worth of luck either.

At the end of a long day -maybe even some time in the middle of it- having endured twice as much as yourself could possibly sustain; you are left weary and frustrated.  A person would probably snuff salvation off as a mere dillusion, maybe laugh away at it followed by a short sigh and a slight shake of the head.  There’s no way in the world.

The person whose faith, even in their dire situation as such would not brush off an opportunity.  He may question his luck and have a hard time to convince himself to believe his eyes, but in the end that person is the one whose day will end with a smile.

 By now you may find yourself asking, “What are you going on about.   Where on earth is your story leading?”

Well I’m about to get to that.

My little sister found a four-leaved clover today.  Which required an almost immediate blog.  I’d had never imagined it possible for one to exist.  I had always thought the rumoured four-leaved clover was just a myth, created to scare young children into brushing their teeth at night.

That was shown to be wrong when I was holding the proof before my very eyes.  So it really did exist! I no later found myself taking photos of it.  I was hard indeed to believe that one had simply appeared.  What are the odds.

 This is about where I began to wonder, why is it that a four-leaved clover is so lucky?  I didn’t think that there was anything that it actually did to bring fortune your way… maybe you had to do something to it to bring out the luck, such as, boil it in a broth and consume it… or… dry it, and then have it placed in the four-leaf clover shrine you had built at your house years back.

 No.   There is simply no way luck can become involved from plain old finding a (and I quote from my sister herself) “mutated plant”.  It makes no sense.  You’ve probably just drained your luck on finding one in the first place.

But say you did want to keep it..  How on earth would you do that?  I first thought a lamination would do the trick.. but it would also do a trick of ‘murdur the poor little four-leaved, green, little piece of luck’.  The only way to actually keep it for good, would be to dry it i guess.

Gah! I need to work on assignments due in tomorrow.   No more writing ;__;

But as a sum up, my little sister ACTUALLY DID FIND A FOUR-LEAVED CLOVER!!

Rather Be Written.

 Blog Initiation.  An Introduction.

Hooray, first blog.  Well not legitimately.. seeing as I’ve already published three other entries.  Before writing this up.   Its kinda funny, because right now, none knows this blog exists.  Noone but me and my little sister.  So I’m writing these endless entries with no watches. 

But that’s okay.

I like writing anyways so even if noone is reading, I wont stop enjoying the writing part. 

 Sometimes, I’ll be sitting on a train and then I’ll suddenly see something perculiar.  It doesn’t even need to be intersting.  My creativity and imagination will completely take over, fully analysing what I happen to have taken interest in, and I will want to write up everything I can think about.

 When I get home that day, I will not have forgotten a thing, and I’ll chew out all my thoughts into the keyboard of my computer producig the blog you have here right now.

 Alot of people say, “Don’t make your texts too long.  People will become bored halfway through and never finsh reading.”

If I can have written all my blogs of a longer-than-average length, and have readers who read my texts whenever I post something and not be fed up with me, I would be pretty happy with myself.

 Although I am quite capable of writing short length texts, writing posts that stretch for miles is my style.  I am happy, I don’t intend to change.

I just like writing thats all. 

 Reading is awesome too.  Wired is dangerous to me sometimes.  I sit for hours, completely forgetting everything, reading and not realising how much time has passed.

 I’ll stop writing here.